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Simone Jones Tyner

Simone Jones Tyner

Family, Living

Between Us: The Art Of Disagreeing

My family was recently featured as The Coolest Black Family In America on Ebony Magazine’s website, Ebony.com.  I love the way the article turned out!  The writer did a phenomenal job capturing the essence of who we are as a couple and as a family.  After being interviewed for almost 2 hours, she was able to perfectly sum up what really makes our relationship work in one sentence:

The art of disagreeing without being disagreeable has been vital to keeping the Tyners’ 12-year marriage moving in a healthy direction.

Read: The Coolest Black Family in America, No. 42: The Tyners

The art of disagreeing.  Hmm.  I guess I had never thought of our ability to communicate our feelings without having a shouting match in that way.  Perhaps it is an art. Although, our relationship certainly didn’t start out like that.

At the beginning of our relationship, my husband was a yeller.  I was no stranger to confrontation either.  With him standing at 6’3” and me at 5’—and a half-inch, it was like a rottweiler barking at a chihuahua.  Even though this little chihuahua could hold her own, with both of us barking, no one was listening.  This method of communication was getting us nowhere. So one day, I decided to stop participating.  He kept yelling and I would just listen. When he paused, I would calmly speak my peace.  Turns out, it’s pretty hard to yell at someone who is speaking to you in a calm, normal voice.  Eventually, he stopped yelling.  And we started talking.

But it didn’t take long to realize that even though we were talking, our words were still yelling.  In my post about making your relationship last, I mentioned how words can kiss you like soft lips or cut you like a knife.  Our tongues were sharp.  Our words cut deep.  Our wounds would heal.  And the next fight would reopen them.  As we matured, our approach evolved.  I guess at some point it finally clicked.  We were on the same team.  There was no winner if there was a loser.  We started to use our words more wisely in a way that would move the conversation forward.  We compromised.  We negotiated.  And, yes, sometimes we conceded.  Luckily, this evolution took place before our daughter was born.  Children should always be raised in a household where all members speak to each other in love.  We are her first and most important example of what a happy, healthy relationship looks like.  We are always mindful that she is listening and watching our interactions.

There will always be times when we don’t see eye to eye.  Times when I wish I could change a few things about him that annoy me.  Times when he drives me so crazy that I want to scream.  Then I stop.  I take a deep breath.  I remember.  I remember all of the miles he has driven to satisfy my crazy foodie cravings.  I remember that he was my rock when I was too weak to stand after we lost our first child.  I remember the look on my daughter’s face when he walks through the door after a long day.  My heart skips.  And I completely forget what I was upset about .

What are your tips for handling disagreements in a relationship?
TAGS:coolest black family in americaebony magazinefamilyhow to fight fairinspirationmaking your relationship lastparentingrelationshipsthe art of disagreeing
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Simone Jones Tyner

My name is Simone, and I'm addicted to sharing! On this blog, I share recipes, shopping tips, relationship and parenting advice, a joke, an opinion and just about everything in between. In between sharing, I run an integrated marketing agency where my love of details and straight lines are put to good use. But my most important job is being a wife and mother to a teenaged daughter who still seems to like me—for now anyway.

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Hi, I’m Simone!

Hi, I’m Simone!

On this blog, you'll get a peek into my personal life sprinkled with work/life balance tips, recipes, relationship and parenting advice, and everything you need to thrive in all areas of life.

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It’s officially the first day of Fall! 🍂

Fall is a season of natural transition and can serve as a powerful metaphor for personal growth and change. Transition from summer chaos to a well-organized fall by adding more structure to your schedule.

Look at how you spend your time and ask yourself these questions…

•	Are my priorities reflected in how I spend my time?
•	Is my week as balanced as I would like it to be?
•	Do I spend enough time on my own needs?
•	Do I spend enough time with my family?
•	Do I spend enough time on my mental and physical health?
•	Do I spend any time working on my personal goals?
•	Am I doing too much?

Then, create a daily and weekly schedule prioritized based on how you answered the questions above. Set realistic expectations for what you can accomplish each day.

Head to the blog to get 4 more tips to reset your routine and regain your daily rhythm. Link in bio!

#fall #glowup #personalgrowth
It’s officially the first day of Fall! 🍂

Fall is a season of natural transition and can serve as a powerful metaphor for personal growth and change. Transition from summer chaos to a well-organized fall by adding more structure to your schedule.

Look at how you spend your time and ask yourself these questions…

•	Are my priorities reflected in how I spend my time?
•	Is my week as balanced as I would like it to be?
•	Do I spend enough time on my own needs?
•	Do I spend enough time with my family?
•	Do I spend enough time on my mental and physical health?
•	Do I spend any time working on my personal goals?
•	Am I doing too much?

Then, create a daily and weekly schedule prioritized based on how you answered the questions above. Set realistic expectations for what you can accomplish each day.

Head to the blog to get 4 more tips to reset your routine and regain your daily rhythm. Link in bio!

#fall #glowup #personalgrowth
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It’s officially the first day of Fall! 🍂 Fall is a season of natural transition and can serve as a powerful metaphor for personal growth and change. Transition from summer chaos to a well-organized fall by adding more structure to your schedule. Look at how you spend your time and ask yourself these questions… • Are my priorities reflected in how I spend my time? • Is my week as balanced as I would like it to be? • Do I spend enough time on my own needs? • Do I spend enough time with my family? • Do I spend enough time on my mental and physical health? • Do I spend any time working on my personal goals? • Am I doing too much? Then, create a daily and weekly schedule prioritized based on how you answered the questions above. Set realistic expectations for what you can accomplish each day. Head to the blog to get 4 more tips to reset your routine and regain your daily rhythm. Link in bio! #fall #glowup #personalgrowth
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As soon as I found out about the damage getting gel manicures was doing to my hands I started applying sunblock before my appointment. Then I found these gloves that help protect your hands from harmful UV rays on @amazon. Now I use both. 💅🏽

I shared the link in my stories!

#nails #nailtips #gelnails
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As soon as I found out about the damage getting gel manicures was doing to my hands I started applying sunblock before my appointment. Then I found these gloves that help protect your hands from harmful UV rays on @amazon. Now I use both. 💅🏽 I shared the link in my stories! #nails #nailtips #gelnails
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Top: @Zara
Blazer & Skirt: @HM
Shoes: @SteveMadden

#outinspo #fashion #falloutfits
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It’s time to pull out the #fall pieces in your closet! Here’s an outfit idea for you to try this season 🍂 Top: @Zara Blazer & Skirt: @HM Shoes: @SteveMadden #outinspo #fashion #falloutfits
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I got some hand made frozen croissants from @wholefoods to make #croffles. But I used my griddle plates instead of the waffle ones so technically I guess I made a criddle 😂 I still got the same crispy, delicious results!

#cookingasmr #pastries #wholefoods
simonejonestyner
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•
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I got some hand made frozen croissants from @wholefoods to make #croffles. But I used my griddle plates instead of the waffle ones so technically I guess I made a criddle 😂 I still got the same crispy, delicious results! #cookingasmr #pastries #wholefoods
1 week ago
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It’s officially the first day of Fall! 🍂

Fall is a season of natural transition and can serve as a powerful metaphor for personal growth and change. Transition from summer chaos to a well-organized fall by adding more structure to your schedule.

Look at how you spend your time and ask yourself these questions…

•	Are my priorities reflected in how I spend my time?
•	Is my week as balanced as I would like it to be?
•	Do I spend enough time on my own needs?
•	Do I spend enough time with my family?
•	Do I spend enough time on my mental and physical health?
•	Do I spend any time working on my personal goals?
•	Am I doing too much?

Then, create a daily and weekly schedule prioritized based on how you answered the questions above. Set realistic expectations for what you can accomplish each day.

Head to the blog to get 4 more tips to reset your routine and regain your daily rhythm. Link in bio!

#fall #glowup #personalgrowth
It’s officially the first day of Fall! 🍂

Fall is a season of natural transition and can serve as a powerful metaphor for personal growth and change. Transition from summer chaos to a well-organized fall by adding more structure to your schedule.

Look at how you spend your time and ask yourself these questions…

•	Are my priorities reflected in how I spend my time?
•	Is my week as balanced as I would like it to be?
•	Do I spend enough time on my own needs?
•	Do I spend enough time with my family?
•	Do I spend enough time on my mental and physical health?
•	Do I spend any time working on my personal goals?
•	Am I doing too much?

Then, create a daily and weekly schedule prioritized based on how you answered the questions above. Set realistic expectations for what you can accomplish each day.

Head to the blog to get 4 more tips to reset your routine and regain your daily rhythm. Link in bio!

#fall #glowup #personalgrowth
simonejonestyner
simonejonestyner
•
Follow
It’s officially the first day of Fall! 🍂 Fall is a season of natural transition and can serve as a powerful metaphor for personal growth and change. Transition from summer chaos to a well-organized fall by adding more structure to your schedule. Look at how you spend your time and ask yourself these questions… • Are my priorities reflected in how I spend my time? • Is my week as balanced as I would like it to be? • Do I spend enough time on my own needs? • Do I spend enough time with my family? • Do I spend enough time on my mental and physical health? • Do I spend any time working on my personal goals? • Am I doing too much? Then, create a daily and weekly schedule prioritized based on how you answered the questions above. Set realistic expectations for what you can accomplish each day. Head to the blog to get 4 more tips to reset your routine and regain your daily rhythm. Link in bio! #fall #glowup #personalgrowth
4 days ago
View on Instagram |
1/6
As soon as I found out about the damage getting gel manicures was doing to my hands I started applying sunblock before my appointment. Then I found these gloves that help protect your hands from harmful UV rays on @amazon. Now I use both. 💅🏽

I shared the link in my stories!

#nails #nailtips #gelnails
simonejonestyner
simonejonestyner
•
Follow
As soon as I found out about the damage getting gel manicures was doing to my hands I started applying sunblock before my appointment. Then I found these gloves that help protect your hands from harmful UV rays on @amazon. Now I use both. 💅🏽 I shared the link in my stories! #nails #nailtips #gelnails
5 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/6
It’s time to pull out the #fall pieces in your closet! Here’s an outfit idea for you to try this season 🍂

Top: @Zara
Blazer & Skirt: @HM
Shoes: @SteveMadden

#outinspo #fashion #falloutfits
simonejonestyner
simonejonestyner
•
Follow
It’s time to pull out the #fall pieces in your closet! Here’s an outfit idea for you to try this season 🍂 Top: @Zara Blazer & Skirt: @HM Shoes: @SteveMadden #outinspo #fashion #falloutfits
7 days ago
View on Instagram |
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I got some hand made frozen croissants from @wholefoods to make #croffles. But I used my griddle plates instead of the waffle ones so technically I guess I made a criddle 😂 I still got the same crispy, delicious results!

#cookingasmr #pastries #wholefoods
simonejonestyner
simonejonestyner
•
Follow
I got some hand made frozen croissants from @wholefoods to make #croffles. But I used my griddle plates instead of the waffle ones so technically I guess I made a criddle 😂 I still got the same crispy, delicious results! #cookingasmr #pastries #wholefoods
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I spend so much time in my car it has become a mini office! In an effort to keep it clean and organized I’ve added these 6 accessories…

1. Seat Gap Filler/Organizer
Perfect for storing your phone, keys and more

2. Visor Tissue Holder
If you use as many tissues as I do

3. Headrest Pillow
To support your neck while driving

4. Cup Coasters
To keep your cup holders clean

5. Putty Cleaning Gel
To remove dust and crumbs from all the little crevices

6. Mini Trash Can
It can be attached to the floor mat to keep it in place

Links for these items are on my story! 

#asmr #organize #carorganization #cardecor
simonejonestyner
simonejonestyner
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I spend so much time in my car it has become a mini office! In an effort to keep it clean and organized I’ve added these 6 accessories… 1. Seat Gap Filler/Organizer Perfect for storing your phone, keys and more 2. Visor Tissue Holder If you use as many tissues as I do 3. Headrest Pillow To support your neck while driving 4. Cup Coasters To keep your cup holders clean 5. Putty Cleaning Gel To remove dust and crumbs from all the little crevices 6. Mini Trash Can It can be attached to the floor mat to keep it in place Links for these items are on my story! #asmr #organize #carorganization #cardecor
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Would you make a barkcuterie board for your dog? 👀

I recently made one for Luna with her favorite fruits and veggies! Wait until the end…

#dog #yorkie #food #charcuterie
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Would you make a barkcuterie board for your dog? 👀 I recently made one for Luna with her favorite fruits and veggies! Wait until the end… #dog #yorkie #food #charcuterie
2 weeks ago
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