I’m not sure how we got here, but here we are. Tired, stressed, overcommitted, and overwhelmed—at work and at home. Tasked with the challenge of juggling work-life, family, and friends all while attempting to carve out “me time” for self-care and personal sanity. I know I can do anything, but I can’t do everything. There have been times when I’ve felt like I was drowning. When I realized what trying to do it all was costing me, I started to ask for help when I needed it. And there are plenty of good reasons why you should ask for help too.
Why We Don’t Ask For Help
Why do we have such a difficult time asking for help in the first place? Throughout the years, I’ve seen so many amazing women fall short of reaching their personal and professional goals simply because they won’t ask for help. Many give in to thoughts like…
“My independence shows strength, asking for help shows weakness.”
“I don’t want to be selfish; I’ll just figure things out on my own.”
“If I ask for help, others will think I’m ‘struggling’ to balance my life.
“I don’t know where to go for help.”
“I’m strong, I should be able to do it all.”
“I’m okay, I can manage.”
These are the same women who aren’t afraid to speak their minds and offer help to friends, colleagues, and strangers without hesitation.
What It’s Costing You
A lot of this behavior has to do with our culture and the examples that our mothers set for us. If your mom carried her baggage, struggles, and dreams plus the ones of those around her, there’s a good chance you are doing the same. And here’s what it’s costing you:
- Restful sleep
- Increased stress levels
- Feelings of anxiety
- More time for yourself
- More time for your family
- Physical and mental health
Sound familiar? Now that we know what the problem is, what can we do about it?
How To Ask For Help
Acclaimed Speaker Les Brown once said, “Ask for help. Not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong.” Spending unnecessary time and energy on things you could use an extra brain or hand with is exhausting and sucks you dry of motivation.
When I began asking for help and outsourcing projects at work and home that I simply didn’t have the bandwidth to do on my own, it didn’t take long for me to notice the change in my energy, attitude, and overall fulfillment. Asking for help opened the door to new relationships, more time with my family, more time for myself, and increased productivity and profit. And it can do the same for you! Here’s where you can start…
- Identify the performance gaps in your life and where you need the most help.
- Invest in quality help! Remember, your quality of life is worth it.
- Outsource what you can. Laundry, house cleaning, grocery shopping, and cooking are all things that can be easily outsourced.
- Be grateful to those who help you. People will be more apt to help you again when they can sense they are genuinely appreciated.
- Figure out who you can barter help from and offer your help to build mutually beneficial partnerships. Your network needs your help and expertise. And you need theirs!
Whether you were taught to be independent, strong, or to push through, remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Asking for help is self-care. It’s self-awareness. It’s wisdom.
“There is no shame in asking for help; it is one the most courageous things you’ll ever do and will lead to greater connection with those around you.” -Laura Lane